Breathing is Important, I Hear

So, I have a job interview. Well, two actually, but one is Monday and one is a week and a half away, so I'm going to hyperventilate over one of these at a time. Pace myself. Give my adrenal glands a break.

It's only a part-time position, thirty hours, but I am so tired of having nothing to do. Having unlimited free time is really boring - and stressful. Which is weird, because really what do I have to stress about? Which is what I think annoys me the most. I get all panicky because I'm not doing anything... and there's no reason to be stressed. I need logic for my emotions. This, of course, stresses me out even more. It's been a viciously circular month in my head.

Anyway, Job #1 is in a library at a community college. The job itself doesn't have me worried, I can libraratize like no one's buisness, but the interview is not going to be pretty. I don't do well in conversations. Then again, the woman already had to put up with my abysmal phone skills and still wants to interview me, so maybe there's hope here. I am very much not exaggerating here. I wish I was. But the rudiments of conversation are so darn hard. Like, when you're setting up a time, how do you wrangle around to a time within two minutes? I'm sure it's possible. Yet, I always wind up spending an eternity trying to strike a balance between convincing the interviewer that my schedule is open for her convenience and making random guesses at a good time after I've already basically told her I have no life, so pick a time she can fit me in and I'll show up. Also, how do you hang up? I say 'thank you,' then he says 'thank you,' and then there's dead air. Should I say 'goodbye?' That seems abrupt coming from a prospective employee, shouldn't he end it since he's the one who called? All this runs through my head during a phone call. At the end, I'm left with sweaty palms and the vague feeling that I said something idiotic, but I'm not sure what exactly.

It gets worse in person. Because then I'm trying to figure out what they want in an employee and how I can look like that. Also, how not to say anything dumb. The job I can do, the interview for the job might kill me. I tell myself that I cannot be the only person who feels this way. The only way I can do this is by assuming everyone else is making all the same mistakes and puffing into paper bags in their cars as well. Hopefully they're also consuming fudge by the quarter-pound. I hate to gain weight alone.