To See or Not to See (WOL)

Entry for 01/20:
I was very ambitious today, to make up for yesterday I think, and completely rearranged the living room. When I moved in I only had a vague idea of how I wanted things to be, so the furniture mostly stayed where we carried it in, which was the most ridiculous setup. It was a configuration that actually managed to work against every available light. At the desk I faced away from the lights, in the chair I couldn't even acknowledge a light to face away from. Now everything is greedy of light, which is just the way it ought to be.

I'm trying to convince myself that buying reading glasses does not mean that I'm getting older or that I'm doomed to go blind by the time I'm fifty-two. I read somewhere that reading with your regular glasses or contacts in, if you're nearsighted, can actually cause your vision to worsen, which would explain my steadily decaying eyesight. I'm not about to pop my contacts out everytime I read during the day, but I generally wear glasses at home, so I could just switch between the two. Yet, is this not a sign that the end is, if not near, at least approaching? I can see myself now wandering around looking for the other pair of glasses that are neatly perched on top of my head. Forgetting to switch glasses and thinking that my eyesight has failed completely already. I'll be the stereotype of an old woman with glasses - all at the age of twenty-one!

But I think I'm going to do it. Anything for my eyes, I can't imagine not being able to see one day, I've always had a horror of it. The grim spectre seems to be getting closer, too. My glasses were late getting in at the doctor's, so my parents had to send them to me. Well, apparently they tried them on before they sent them. Over the phone, they said they were trying to see how they would look on, but that they couldn't see anything through them and that I was halfway to blind! I know they exaggerate, but it was an unpleasant thrill up my spine. They both wear glasses themselves and, when I used to play the game of 'Let's Trade Glasses!' (Did anyone else play that in elementary school?) my parents' were the ones that always made me dizzy. I used to put my mother's on, when I was sent to find them from where ever she had set them down, and pretend that I was exploring a strange, new world until I would start to feel nautious.

It's sad to think that I can't go back to that world anymore.